A couple in Shenzhen has been separated for three years, but the other party refuses to divorce. How many times must they file for divorce before a judgment is granted?

Last week, a woman from Longhua came to us. She had been married for 11 years, and her husband had moved out starting in 2021, leaving them separated for nearly three years. She had proposed a divorce agreement twice, but the other party kept delaying signing, citing "loss of face" as the reason. She said, "Lawyer Shen, is it true that as long as I endure two years of separation, the court will definitely grant the divorce?" I told her that it's not that simple.
Question: If a couple has been separated for two full years, will the court definitely grant a divorce?
Answer: No, that's not the case. Article 1079 of the Civil Code does state that "if the spouses have lived apart for two full years due to discord in affection" and mediation fails, divorce should be granted, but the key lies in the phrase "due to discord in affection." In practice, courts in Shenzhen are very strict in determining the fact of separation—rental contracts, property registration, utility payment records, and neighbor testimony are all indispensable evidence. Many people think that separation just means sleeping in different rooms, but that does not count as legal separation. In a case we handled, the husband claimed they had been separated for three years, but the wife produced chat records from the family group showing that they were still discussing their child's tutoring classes every week, and the court ultimately ruled that it did not constitute separation due to discord in affection. So don't pin all your hopes on the length of separation.
If the other party absolutely refuses to divorce, how long will it take to get divorced through litigation? This is a question every person who comes for consultation asks. If the other party firmly disagrees during the first lawsuit, and there are no statutory faults such as domestic violence, gambling, or bigamy, the court will most likely rule against the divorce. After the ruling, you wait 6 months and then file a second lawsuit. The likelihood of the divorce being granted in the second lawsuit is much higher. However, note that the second lawsuit also depends on evidence—we have encountered cases where the second lawsuit still did not result in a divorce, because the husband burst into tears in court and wrote a guarantee, and the judge gave them a chance to reconcile.
In Shenzhen, the average trial period for divorce litigation is about 4 to 6 months. Adding the two trials together with the interval in between, it takes roughly one and a half to two years. However, this is not absolute. Last year, we handled a case in Futian where the client was in a hurry to deal with the property after the divorce. We took the route of "mediation," and it only took 3 months from filing the case to receiving the mediation document. A mediation document has the same legal effect as a court judgment, and both parties don't have to burn bridges, making it easier to negotiate visitation rights for the children later on. So litigation is not the only option; the key is how you choose your strategy.
Question: When filing for divorce, can I fight for both the property and child custody at the same time?
Sure, but there needs to be a clear priority. In Shenzhen's divorce litigation, about 70% of cases involve property division, with the disputed amounts typically ranging from 3 million to 8 million RMB. The court's principle for dividing property is simple—if the couple can reach an agreement, they do; if not, the property goes to auction, competitive bidding, or is divided based on contribution ratios. However, many couples overlook one key point: having only one name on the property title doesn't mean it's personal property. If mortgage payments were made with joint income after marriage, even if it's just 50,000 RMB, the other party has a claim to it. In a recent case we closed, the wife had been a full-time homemaker for 8 years, and the husband tried to make her leave with nothing, claiming "I bought the house." We obtained the bank's mortgage payment records, proving that the 700,000 RMB paid after marriage all came from the husband's salary—but since salary is considered joint marital property, the wife still received half of the property's appreciation.
In custody matters, the core standard of Shenzhen courts boils down to two words: stability. It's not about who earns more, but whose living environment is more beneficial for the child. Children under two generally go with the mother, and those over eight must have their wishes respected. For ages two to eight, the court looks at who has been the primary caregiver. Here's a point many parents don't know—if you've been unemployed, the court will assess whether you can provide stable care in the future. In our case, the woman had been a full-time homemaker for eight years and not only won custody but also secured monthly child support of 6,500 yuan, because the man's annual income was 600,000 yuan, and the court awarded 20%-25% of that.
Speaking of which, I have to mention our Zhiming Law Firm. We're a well-established firm in Shenzhen with 26 years of history. Director Shen Jinlong has been practicing law for 26 years, holds a master's degree from Fudan University, and previously served as a senior executive at a state-owned enterprise. Our family and matrimonial team has handled over 10,000 cases. The examples mentioned earlier—like reaching a settlement through mediation in three months, or a stay-at-home mom securing both the property and child custody—are by no means isolated cases. What we excel at most is helping you build a solid chain of evidence before filing a lawsuit—what proves the breakdown of the marriage, what proves your contribution to loan repayments, and what proves you are the primary caregiver. These factors determine the direction and outcome of the litigation.
Let me end with something practical. When it comes to divorce, the longer you drag it out, the more both sides are drained, and the deeper the harm to the children. If you've already confirmed the marriage has broken down and the other party keeps stalling, don't waste any more time. Separation isn't something you wait out—it's something you prove. Custody isn't won by fighting—it's built on evidence. If you're stuck at this hurdle and aren't sure which materials you have that can be used, you can come talk to us at Room 1802, Building A, Xintian Century Business Center, Shixia North Second Street, Futian District, or call 0755-25986969. The initial consultation and analysis are free. Whether you can win the lawsuit can actually be gauged about 70-80% from the very first conversation.