What should I do if my spouse in Shenzhen absolutely refuses to agree to a divorce? How long will it take for a lawsuit to be decided, and how should I fight for property and child custody?

Last week, a client from Futian, Ms. Wang, came to see me. As soon as she sat down, she sighed and said, "Lawyer Shen, I've been asking for a divorce for six months now, but he absolutely refuses to budge, saying he'll drag it out to ruin me. My child is only three years old. I've moved out and am paying over 8,000 yuan a month in rent, and he won't even pay child support. I really can't go on like this another day. How long will a lawsuit take? Can I get custody of my child?"
Ms. Wang's situation is all too typical in Shenzhen. The marriage has truly broken down, but the other party refuses to agree to a divorce by mutual consent—whether for the sake of property, the children, or simply out of spite. Many clients are intimidated by the "delay tactic," believing that if the other side won't sign, a divorce is impossible. In reality, this is a huge misconception. The law has long provided a way out—divorce by litigation, which does not require the other party's consent.
Question: I am filing for divorce, but the other party keeps refusing. Will the court grant the divorce? How long will it roughly take?
Answer: The court's standard for granting a divorce is "whether the emotional bond has truly broken down," not whether the other party agrees. Article 1079 of the Civil Code lists five circumstances under which a divorce should be granted, such as bigamy, domestic violence, or separation for two years due to emotional discord. However, in practice, if the other party firmly opposes the first lawsuit and there is no conclusive evidence of statutory circumstances, the judge often does not grant the divorce, requiring a second lawsuit after six months. Therefore, the litigation period typically ranges from six months to a year and a half. In cases we handle, with solid evidence and proper mediation strategies, the fastest ones are resolved through mediation within three months.
When Ms. Wang heard "six months to a year and a half," her face turned pale. Here, I have to be honest: the grassroots courts in Shenzhen have too many cases and too few judges, and the average trial period for divorce cases is indeed around four to seven months, not to mention the waiting period for a second filing. But there is a key variable that many people don't know about—**mediation**. Shenzhen courts adopt a "mediation-first" approach for divorce cases, and judges are very willing to conduct mediation because it can substantively resolve conflicts. And mediation is precisely where lawyers can play the most significant role.
In Shenzhen, a single apartment can easily cost five or six million yuan, and many families own two or even more properties. I have some data on hand: Shenzhen registers about 50,000 divorces per year, and in over 70% of divorce lawsuits, property division is involved, with the average disputed amount ranging from 3 million to 8 million yuan. Simply put, when divorce cases drag on, the real fight is over the house.
However, in practice, the court will make adjustments based on factors such as the proportion of initial capital contribution, mortgage repayment situation, whose name the property is registered under, and whether there is a party at fault. For example, if one party's parents paid the down payment and the couple jointly repaid the mortgage after marriage, the property goes to the registered owner, but that party must compensate the other for half of the post-marriage mortgage payments and the appreciated value. This amount often adds up to hundreds of thousands or even millions, so it absolutely cannot be taken lightly.
Shenzhen residents have a wide range of investment channels, including stocks, funds, company equity, and even cryptocurrency, with various means of transferring assets. If you discover that the other party has made large transfers, unusual spending, or sold property at a low price, be sure to apply for property preservation when filing the lawsuit to freeze their accounts first. Our team handled a case last year where a client in Longhua discovered that her husband had transferred 1.8 million yuan to relatives in his hometown one month before the lawsuit was filed. We applied for preservation in time, recovered the money, and had it redistributed. The entire case took only five months from start to finish.
Article 1084 of the Civil Code stipulates that for children under the age of two, the principle is that they shall be directly raised by the mother. For children who have reached the age of two, the court shall make a judgment based on the principle of what is most beneficial to the minor child; for children who have reached the age of eight, the child's true wishes shall be respected.
Ms. Wang has now moved out and is renting a place to live. Although her job is stable, she often works overtime. If she doesn't make adjustments, the judge will be concerned that the child won't receive adequate care. Our advice to her is to first secure evidence of daily school pick-ups and drop-offs and weekend companionship, while also communicating with her company to reduce business trips, solidifying the facts of her daily caregiving. Additionally, if the other party has engaged in domestic violence, gambling, or long-term neglect of the child, it's essential to keep police reports, chat records, and witness testimonies—these are hard currency in court.
Speaking of this, it reminds me of a case I handled last year, very similar to Ms. Wang's situation. A Ms. Lin from Nanshan, her husband was in business, earning millions a year, but he rarely came home, and the children were raised entirely by Ms. Lin alone. She filed for divorce, but her husband refused, saying, "If you want a divorce, fine, but don't expect to get the kids or the house." When Ms. Lin came to us, her eyes were red.
After we took over the case, we did three things: first, we guided her to organize all the daily childcare, school pick-ups and drop-offs, parent-teacher meetings, and medical records into a timeline of evidence; second, we applied to the court to obtain her husband's bank statements, which revealed numerous consumption records that could not be explained; third, we proactively communicated with the opposing counsel, presented the evidence, and signaled a willingness to mediate. In the end, the case was settled through mediation before the third hearing, taking less than four months in total. What was the outcome? The house went to Ms. Lin, custody of the child went to Ms. Lin, and the other party was ordered to pay child support of 8,000 yuan per month. On the day Ms. Lin received the mediation agreement, she cried for a long time in our office.
To be honest, this case was resolved so quickly not because the other side had a sudden change of heart, but because we made them see the possibility of losing in court. The essence of mediation is negotiation—it's about getting both parties to sit down and discuss a mutually acceptable solution after they have a clear expectation of the litigation outcome.
Finally, a few honest words for friends in Shenzhen who are still hesitating:
The other party disagrees, which only closes the door to divorce by mutual agreement, but the path of litigation is always open. The longer they drag it out, the more you can claim in child support, interest on property division, and rental losses.
The lease agreement showing two years of separation, the police report for domestic violence, the chat records of infidelity, and the bank statements showing transferred assets—these are what the judge actually recognizes. Don't just wallow in sadness; first figure out what cards you're holding.
A professional marriage and family lawyer isn't there to fight for you—they're there to design your path. What evidence can be obtained, what claims can be made, and what timing is most favorable for mediation—this kind of experience is worth its weight in gold. In Shenzhen, divorce cases often involve assets worth millions, and compared to the property you win back, the attorney fees are nothing.
Ms. Wang came again last week. After we organized the evidence for her, her husband agreed to sit down and talk. Things are progressing well so far, and we expect the case to be resolved through mediation within two months. She will be able to get both the child and the house.
If you are also in Shenzhen and feeling trapped by divorce issues—whether it's the other party's refusal, disagreements over property, or disputes over child custody—you can first come to Guangdong Zhiming Law Firm for a consultation. We are located at Room 1802, Block A, Xintian Century Business Center, Shixia North Second Street, Futian District. Our phone number is 0755-25986969. As a well-established law firm with 26 years of experience, led by Director Lawyer Shen Jinlong, we have handled over 10,000 cases and can at least help you see your options more clearly.