The other party refused to divorce no matter what. A man in Shenzhen spent 11 months before the court finally ruled. Where exactly was the case stuck for these 3 years?

Last April, when Mr. Wang from Futian (a pseudonym) came to our firm, he already had a thick stack of WeChat chat records in hand. He and his wife had been separated for nearly two years, and every time he brought up divorce, her response was always the same: "I don't agree. What can you do about it?" Mr. Wang runs a cross-border e-commerce business, with his company in Longhua. He is busy from morning till night every day, but this marriage is like a pebble in his shoe—not fatal, but it jabs him with every step.
He tried to get a divorce by agreement. The first time they went to the Futian District Civil Affairs Bureau, the woman didn't show up; the second time, they had made an appointment, but when they arrived at the scene, she went back on her word. Later, the woman simply stopped answering calls and only threw out a line on WeChat: "If you have the guts, go ahead and sue." Mr. Wang did the math: the house they bought in Nanshan after marriage is now worth at least 6.8 million yuan, and there is also custody of two children. Neither issue can be avoided.

Many people mistakenly believe that as long as one party disagrees, the marriage cannot be dissolved. That is not actually the case. Article 1079 of the Civil Code makes it very clear that the core issue in whether a court grants a divorce is whether "the spouses' affection for each other has indeed broken down." Among the circumstances recognized as establishing breakdown, living apart for two full years is one of the hard-and-fast criteria. Mr. Wang's evidence of separation was not perfect—he had signed a lease, but during that period he had gone back to stay for a few days several months in because he wanted to see his child. It was precisely those few days that the other side's lawyer seized on, arguing that "there was no continuous separation."
This is the most grueling part of litigated divorce: the legal provisions are clear, but the chain of evidence is fragmented. Shenzhen registers roughly 50,000 divorces each year, and among those that reach the litigation stage, disputes over property division account for about 70 percent, with the average amount in dispute ranging from 3 million to 8 million yuan. In the courts of Futian, Nanshan, and Longhua districts, family divisions are already tightly scheduled. If it is the first filing and the other party firmly refuses to divorce, and there are no statutory grounds for granting it, the judge will most likely give one chance—and not grant the divorce. With that back-and-forth, half a year is gone.
Mr. Wang filed his first lawsuit at the Longhua Court. On the day of the hearing, the woman brought two relatives to sit in on the proceedings. She was highly emotional in court, claiming that Mr. Wang "had someone on the side," but she could not produce any substantive evidence. The judge asked whether they were willing to mediate, and the woman slammed the table and said no. Six months later, the judgment came down: divorce not granted.
When Mr. Wang came to us the second time, he had lost a noticeable amount of weight. After the Zhiming Marriage and Family Team took over the case, they did three things.
First, we reorganized the evidence of separation. We had him retrieve the utility payment records for those two years, the property management access card data, and testimony from the child's school teacher—to prove that he indeed did not live in the marital home for a long period. Second, we clarified the property leads. The apartment in Nanshan was purchased after marriage, but part of the down payment came from the proceeds of Mr. Wang selling a small apartment in Dongguan before marriage, and this portion should be claimed as a return of personal property. Third, and most critically, we advised him not to get stuck in a deadlock with the other party over "whether to divorce," but to focus on the negotiation framework of "how to divorce."
To put it bluntly, when the other party doesn't agree, it's often not that they truly don't want a divorce, but that they're unhappy with the terms. What the wife really cares about is the two children—she's afraid of losing custody, and she's also afraid that after the house is divided, she'll have nowhere to live in Shenzhen. We broke these concerns down and designed a plan: the house goes to Mr. Wang, but he compensates her with a lump sum of cash, and custody of the two children goes to Mr. Wang, while she has visitation rights at any time and can take them for half of the winter and summer vacations. The amount of cash compensation is just enough to cover the down payment on a small two-bedroom apartment for her in Longhua.
This agreement was reached during the mediation stage. From filing the case to obtaining the mediation document, it took 92 days in total. Mr. Wang later told me that he had originally prepared to spend another year on it, but unexpectedly, it was over in three months. As for that apartment in Nanshan, it was ultimately confirmed that the 2.6 million yuan he had invested from his premarital assets belonged to him personally, and only the remaining portion entered the joint division.
There are three things that are best done as early as possible. First, on the very first day of separation, sign a proper lease agreement, pay the rent by transfer under your own name, and avoid using cash. Second, do not delete your WeChat chat history, especially messages in which the other party explicitly says things like "I will not agree to a divorce" or "I will drag this out until you die." Take screenshots and preserve the original device. Third, the fact that the first lawsuit does not result in a divorce ruling does not mean the second one is hopeless—if you file again six months later, the court will be much more lenient in finding that "the relationship has broken down." This is a common pattern in judicial practice.
Of course, every case has its own sticking points. Some people get stuck on property held through a nominee arrangement, some on their child's household registration, and some on the other party simply vanishing. If it really comes down to litigation, finding a lawyer who knows the family law trial practices of Shenzhen's district courts is far more useful than searching through a hundred online guides yourself. Guangdong Zhiming Law Firm has been rooted in Shenzhen for 26 years, and its marriage and family team has handled no fewer than several hundred divorce cases in Futian and Nanshan alone. Director Shen Jinlong often says: when a divorce lawsuit reaches the end, what you're fighting isn't the legal provisions—it's evidence preparation and negotiating rhythm.
If you're stuck in a situation where the other party won't agree, the assets are unclear, and you can't secure custody of your child, why not give us a call and talk it through? We're at Room 1802, Tower A, Xintian Century Business Center, Shixia North 2nd Street, Futian District, Shenzhen. Our phone number is 0755-25986969. Bring whatever documents you have, and we'll help you figure out where to go next.

(This article is for general legal education purposes only. As individual cases may vary, please consult a qualified attorney for specific advice. Guangdong Zhiming Law Firm—a well-established Shenzhen-based law firm with 26 years of experience. Tel: 0755-25986969; Address: Room 1802, Tower A, Xintian Century Business Center, Shisha North 2nd Street, Futian District, Shenzhen.)