Lawyer Zhang from Chongqing, aged 32, graduated from Southwest University with a major in law. Seven years ago, he began working as a full-time lawyer, and his first case was a divorce case. Since then, he has handled an increasing number of divorce cases. Due to his familiarity with the Marriage Law and its relevant judicial interpretations, colleagues jokingly call him a living marriage encyclopedia. Frightening patterns of divorce. Lawyer Zhang has even summarized two sets of divorce patterns, which have shifted his attitude toward marriage from initial longing to calmness and caution.

Rule 1: Loving in marriage, indifferent in divorce

In 2013, in a case he handled, the woman and man were lovers since college. After a seven-year romantic marathon, they finally entered marriage. Less than a year after marriage, the man sought Lawyer Zhang to file for divorce, with a simple reason: feelings had faded. During Zhang’s investigation, friends and relatives all thought the couple was deeply in love. Unexpectedly, during the trial, the woman produced a thick ledger of living expenses, demanding the man pay all costs. It turned out she had kept meticulous records of household spending after marriage. Both believed they had contributed more to the marriage, each tallying gains and losses. When they met in court, only sarcasm, coldness, and insults remained—the once-loving couple had become enemies. Zhang noted that many couples are deeply in love when marrying, but by the time of divorce, personal attacks and even physical fights are not uncommon.

Rule 2: Striving in poverty, parting in wealth

Not long ago, a female client tearfully recounted how she and her husband started from a street stall, working together for over a decade to build a company and several chain restaurants. Life had become affluent, but their feelings were gone. Now they rarely met, and even when together, they had nothing to say. The husband was suspected of having a mistress. Zhang said that in the many middle-aged divorce cases he handled, countless examples showed that many couples can endure poverty together but cannot share wealth. Some break up due to swelling desires, others because changing living conditions split their values.

Lawyer Zhang said handling divorce cases has shown him many joys and sorrows, making him more cautious about relationships and even mildly afraid of marriage. He said he now has a clearer understanding of marriage and knows better how to cherish it. He believes marriage should not be rushed—both parties must have a solid emotional foundation, shared interests, and similar values to enter marriage and achieve happiness. In his view, marriage should be a lifelong commitment; once you hold hands, you should not let go easily. Problems should be calmly communicated and resolved, rather than ending in painful divorce. "I hope divorce cases become fewer and fewer, because one turn is a lifetime," he said. Having seen too much decisiveness and coldness in divorce, he is even slightly marriage-phobic, now preferring to be an older single rather than marry hastily.