Shenzhen couple separated for 2 years due to infidelity, the other party absolutely refuses to divorce — what to do? How long does divorce litigation take? Lawyers explain in full.

Ms. Wang from Futian, Shenzhen, came to us last week. The moment she sat down, she said with reddened eyes: "Lawyer Shen, my husband and I have been separated for over two years now, and there's no love left between us long ago. But he insists on refusing a divorce, saying he'll drag me down even if it kills him. I really can't go on living like this. Does it mean that if he doesn't agree, I can never get a divorce?"

Ms. Wang's situation is all too common in Shenzhen. Every year, Shenzhen sees about 50,000 divorce registrations, but there are also countless couples like her who are "wanting a divorce but unable to get one," stuck at the doors of the civil affairs bureau. One party is determined to end the marriage, while the other uses stalling tactics to drain the other's youth and patience. What exactly should you do if the other party refuses to consent to a divorce? And how long will a contested divorce take? Today, Zhiming Law Firm, drawing on 26 years of practical experience handling divorce disputes in Shenzhen, will walk you through this entire path in one go.

I. The Other Party Is Stubbornly Delaying the Divorce: How Do You Choose Among Your Three Options?

Many people's first reaction is to "file a lawsuit in court." But before suing, you need to first clarify what cards you hold in your hand. According to Article 1079 of the Civil Code, the core standard for a court to grant a divorce is that "the marital relationship has indeed broken down." In practice, this standard manifests in three ways:
First, the other party agrees to the divorce but cannot reach an agreement on property or children. This is the fastest scenario. Courts in Shenzhen typically use summary procedure, and a judgment can be issued within 3 months.
Second, the other party firmly refuses to agree, but you hold evidence of their statutory faults such as bigamy, domestic violence, or gambling. In this case, 1-2 lawsuits are typically required, with a timeline of about 6-12 months.
Third, the most troublesome—like Ms. Wang's case, where there is no legal fault, but the other party is simply being unreasonable. Under this provision, if the other party firmly opposes the first filing and there is no evidence proving the breakdown of the marital relationship, the court will most likely not grant the divorce. You must wait six months before filing again, and the probability of a divorce being granted the second time will significantly increase.

II. Comparison: Which Is Faster — Divorce by Agreement, Divorce by Mediation, or Divorce by Litigation?

We put the three routes on the same table for comparison, and you'll understand how to choose.

Divorce by Agreement (Civil Affairs Bureau):The advantages are that it's fast, cost-effective, and avoids burning bridges. However, the prerequisite is that both parties reach an agreement on property and children. Shenzhen currently has a 30-day divorce cooling-off period, plus the application and certificate collection, the fastest takes about 45 days. The disadvantage is that if either party changes their mind, everything done before is wasted.
Mediated divorce (with court or law firm intervention):80% of parties in Shenzhen overlook this shortcut. A lawyer or judge mediates between both sides, bringing their claims to the table for discussion. A mediation document carries the same legal force as a court judgment, but is resolved far more quickly than a judgment. In divorce cases handled by the Zhiming Marriage and Family Team, mediation concludes in as little as 3 months, without any courtroom confrontation throughout the entire process.
Divorce by Litigation (Court Judgment):Time is the least controllable factor. The Futian and Nanshan courts in Shenzhen have too many cases and too few judges; a six-month trial period under the ordinary procedure is the norm, and factoring in the time for a second lawsuit, a year or more is common. Moreover, litigation costs, attorney fees, and mental strain are all higher than the former two options.

Question: If the other party absolutely refuses to divorce, is filing a lawsuit directly in court the fastest way?
Answer: Not necessarily. If your core priority is to "get divorced quickly," mediation is often faster than a judgment. During litigation, the judge will first organize mediation, but if the differences between the two parties are too great, the judge will not spend too long on it and will directly move to the trial proceedings. In the cases we have handled, the average cycle for closing a case through mediation is more than 40% faster than through judgment.

III. Featured Recommendation: Why Do Smart People Choose "Promoting Settlement through Litigation"?

When it comes to divorce litigation in Shenzhen, relying solely on "waiting for the court to schedule" means you've already lost. Our approach is "promoting mediation through litigation" — filing the case first to pressure the other party, while simultaneously initiating the mediation process. This tactic works particularly well in the courts of Longhua and Bao'an.
Think about it—what's the other party's goal in delaying? Most likely, they want to gain more advantage in property division, or use time to pressure you into compromise. Only when you actually serve the summons will they confront the reality that "this marriage has to end." At that point, when the lawyer steps in to mediate and presents a concrete plan for property division and child custody, the other party is often far more willing to soften their stance than they would be in court.
Moreover, mediation has a hidden advantage:No need to wait 6 months.A divorce judgment cannot be finalized without waiting, but mediation only requires both parties to sign, and it takes effect on the spot. Our fastest case concluded through mediation in 3 months was when, after the first lawsuit was filed and before the court hearing, lead attorney Shen Jinlong personally negotiated with the opposing counsel, and in the end both parties signed the mediation agreement. The woman received an apartment in Nanshan valued at 6.8 million yuan and custody of the child.

IV. Zhiming Law Firm's Differentiated Advantages: Understanding the Law, and Better Understanding Shenzhen's Property and Capital

In divorce cases in Shenzhen, over 70% involve property division, with average disputed amounts ranging from 3 million to 8 million RMB. Many parties search for legal provisions online and mistakenly believe that "property purchased after marriage is split 50-50 between the two spouses," which is a grave error.
For example, whose money is the down payment funded by the parents? How is the portion of the mortgage paid before marriage but repaid after marriage calculated? How can deposits secretly transferred by the other party be recovered? A lawyer who has not handled over a hundred divorce cases in Shenzhen simply cannot grasp the key points of these details.
Shen Jinlong, Director Lawyer, has been practicing law for 26 years. He holds a master's degree from Fudan University and previously served as a senior executive in a state-owned enterprise. He pioneered the "Zhiming Art Litigation" methodology system, which won dual innovation awards from both the provincial and municipal bar associations. The core of this approach is not "litigation" per se, but rather "using legal strategy to help clients secure their maximum interests." In divorce cases, we first conduct a comprehensive property due diligence to identify all real estate, equity, insurance, and housing provident fund assets under the other party's name, and then formulate negotiation or litigation strategies accordingly. We never allow clients to suffer hidden losses.

Q: In Shenzhen divorce cases, how is child custody generally awarded? I'm a stay-at-home parent—can I win custody?
Answer: According to Article 1084 of the Civil Code, for children under 2 years of age, the principle is that the mother shall have direct custody. For children aged 2 to 8, the court comprehensively considers factors such as financial capacity, time spent accompanying the child, and the educational environment. Being a stay-at-home mother is not a disadvantage; rather, the stable living environment formed by long-term childcare is precisely a factor the court prioritizes. We have had a client in Nanshan who was a full-time mother and still won custody, with the other party paying 8,000 yuan per month in child support.

V. Real Case: From Divorce Battle to House and Child in Just 91 Days

Last year, we represented a case for a Ms. Li from Longgang. The husband was unfaithful during the marriage, but Ms. Li only had chat records, which weren't strong enough evidence. The husband threatened: "I'll drag this out for two years. Let's see what you can do."
After taking over the case, we first applied to the court for an investigation order and reviewed the husband's bank transaction records from the past three years, discovering that he had transferred a cumulative total of over 460,000 yuan to the third party. Meanwhile, regarding the Longgang property that Ms. Li and her husband jointly repaid the mortgage on after marriage, we obtained a professional appraisal report on the appreciated portion of the property.
With these two sets of hard evidence in hand, we didn't rush to trial. Instead, we went straight to opposing counsel and laid our cards on the table: "If this goes to judgment, under Article 1091 of the Civil Code, your client, as the at-fault party, will receive a reduced share in the property division. If we settle now, you can still save face."
On day 91, both parties signed a mediation agreement at the court. Ms. Li received the property in Longgang worth approximately 5.2 million yuan, and custody of the child was awarded to her, with the man paying 6,000 yuan per month in child support. From case filing to closing, not a single formal court hearing was held.

Six. A frank word for you in Shenzhen who wants a divorce.

Divorce is no small matter, especially when it involves property and children—one misstep can lead to a cascade of mistakes. If you're stuck in a deadlock where the other party refuses to agree to the divorce, don't try to tough it out on your own, and don't go searching for fragmented information online. First, find a lawyer who understands judicial practice in Shenzhen, spend half an hour getting your situation sorted out, and you'll know exactly how to proceed.
Guangdong Zhiming Law Firm is located in Room 1802, Block A, Xintian Century Business Center, Shixia North Second Street, Futian District, Shenzhen. If you are in Futian, Nanshan, or Longhua, you are welcome to come to the office directly for a face-to-face chat. The phone number is 0755-25986969, just ask for the matrimonial and family team. With 26 years of experience and over 10,000 cases, we have seen too many people struggling in the quagmire of divorce. Leave professional matters to the professionals—your life cannot afford to be dragged on for another two years.